No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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