I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
