I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
