Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize