She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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