is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
