we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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