dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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