so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
