i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
did i just pee glitter
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
