dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just googled if crying burns calories
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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