Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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