his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
did you just send me my own nude
I could fuck to npr.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
