just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
