don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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