What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
