saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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