so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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