If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
