Have you finally orgasmed yet?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
