she woke up with a sticky ear
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
