For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
