doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
