haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
