yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
