Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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