I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
