I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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