No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
