More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
