I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
two words: eviction party
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
