Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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