my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
