going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
