I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
