My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
