I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
