Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
