East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Four minutes until I can fart!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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