bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
