Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
