i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
