I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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