Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
