brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
