When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
