He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
