google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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