office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
