We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
