I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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