It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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