just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
