it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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