Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This house was built for laser tag.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
