Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
