wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
